Justins Saudi Adventure!: Farewell……. & A Final Question For Suicide Bombers

Thursday 2 October 2008

Farewell……. & A Final Question For Suicide Bombers

As many of you will already know, my time to leave the Middle East has arrived and so it is with mixed feelings that I write this, my last Blog posting.

In many ways, I am looking forward to returning to the UK, however there are many things that I will miss about the Middle East.

I am delighted that many of my preconceptions about the Middle East have been shattered by my experiences here and I feel that in my short time here that I have come to understand this region and its people better.

Don't get me wrong, there are still many things I really hate about this country as I've mentioned in this Blog in the Past. But as for the future for Saudi Arabia, I am generally very optimistic. There is no doubt that Saudi Arabia is at the start of a period of great change. Influences of the West and other cultures are everywhere to see from the fast food outlets, television and music to the cars they drive and the clothes they wear.

For the first time normal everyday Arab’s are experiencing different cultures and they seem to like it. Yes, the old religious intolerances still exist and will be around for many years to come, but society here, guided by the King is slowly changing. Many ex-pats who have been here for the last 15 years cannot believe how much the country has been allowed to change in the last few years.

That said, I am ever aware that much power in this country still lies with the Clerics and the Hardliners. Things can change in this part of the world very quickly and I am fearful that Iran will be the fly in the ointment. Everyone in the Middle East, especially the Arabs, are shit scared what Iran will do.

It is entirely possible that the road of change could quickly regress into one of greater introspection and isolation, although personally I think that the country has already experienced to much change for the better to turn 180’.

I am encouraged by comments made by made Jordanians, Egyptians and Palestinians who have lived here for many years. All say that the country is changing for the better and all expect that within the next 5-10 years that cinemas will open, women will be allowed to drive and that other religions will be tolerated. This can only be good news for the stability of the region. I am even more encouraged by talking to ordinary Saudi citizens who all want change and realise that this is possible without compromising their religious beliefs or their culture.

Certainly, Im more optimistic about Saudi Arabia than I am of the future of the UK. I think people in the West are only just realising that our time of dominance is over and has been for some time. Economically and culturally, power and influence has transferred over to the countries such as India, China and the Middle East and we in the West will have to learn to accept this.

I think us Brits will have a better chance than the Americans, afterall is there anything more English than...

Sitting on Swedish furniture.
Eating Indian food.
Drinking Belgian beer and French wine.
Watching American programs on a Japanese TV.
Driving a German car.
Deep distrust of foreigners.

And so I bid farewell to the Middle East. I hope you have enjoyed reading this Blog as much as I have writing it.

So…my final parting question is for all the Al Qaeda suicide bombers (remember that 12 of the 15 terrorists that committed 9/11 were Saudi Arabian!!!)

Where exactly do all these virgins come from?

If they were virgins down here I doubt their reward would be an afterlife spent in your harem and if they weren't virgins down here then they aren't really virgins, are they?If you really want to be an extremist, why not be one of these?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...: u r such an idiot!; 26 July 2009 at 15:04
Anonymous said...: luved reading ur blog....; 26 May 2011 at 01:45

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Glossary

Abaya - A long black robe designed to cover all of a woman's body
Haram - "Forbidden"
Istemarah - Car registration
Khalas - Finished, the end
Mushkilla - Problem
Muttawa - Religious policeman, the "authority for the promotion of virtue and prevention of vice"
Throbe - Traditional dress for Arabic men
Ghutra - The tea-towel like headscarf worn by men
Iqual - The black band that holds the ghutra in place
Wasta(h) - Having powerful social connections
Insha’allah – God willing
Insha'allah Bakora - Tomorrow god willing ......or definetly not tomorrow in my experience, more likely next month, if you're lucky!
Iqama - Visa

Monty Python Sketch

Although its not anything to do with living in the Middle East, I find the following Monty Python Sketch hilarious and pub lish it in the hope it also brings a smile to your face:

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
Aye, very passable, that, very passable bit of risotto.

SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:
Nothing like a good glass of Château de Chasselas, eh, Josiah?

THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
You're right there, Obadiah.

FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
Who'd have thought thirty year ago we'd all be sittin' here drinking Château de Chasselas, eh?

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
In them days we was glad to have the price of a cup o' tea.

SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:
A cup o' cold tea.

FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
Without milk or sugar.

THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
Or tea.

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
In a cracked cup, an' all.

FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
Oh, we never had a cup. We used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper.

SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:
The best we could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth.

THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were poor.

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
Because we were poor. My old Dad used to say to me, "Money doesn't buy you happiness, son".

FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
Aye, 'e was right.

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
Aye, 'e was.

FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
I was happier then and I had nothin'. We used to live in this tiny old house with great big holes in the roof.

SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:
House! You were lucky to live in a house! We used to live in one room, all twenty-six of us, no furniture, 'alf the floor was missing, and we were all 'uddled together in one corner for fear of falling.

THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
Eh, you were lucky to have a room! We used to have to live in t' corridor!

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
Oh, we used to dream of livin' in a corridor! Would ha' been a palace to us. We used to live in an old water tank on a rubbish tip. We got woke up every morning by having a load of rotting fish dumped all over us! House? Huh.

FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
Well, when I say 'house' it was only a hole in the ground covered by a sheet of tarpaulin, but it was a house to us.

SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:
We were evicted from our 'ole in the ground; we 'ad to go and live in a lake.

THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
You were lucky to have a lake! There were a hundred and fifty of us living in t' shoebox in t' middle o' road.

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
Cardboard box?

THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
Aye.

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
You were lucky. We lived for three months in a paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six in the morning, clean the paper bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down t' mill, fourteen hours a day, week-in week-out, for sixpence a week, and when we got home our Dad would thrash us to sleep wi' his belt.

SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:
Luxury. We used to have to get out of the lake at six o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of 'ot gravel, work twenty hour day at mill for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would thrash us to sleep with a broken bottle, if we were lucky!

THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
Well, of course, we had it tough. We used to 'ave to get up out of shoebox at twelve o'clock at night and lick road clean wit' tongue. We had two bits of cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at mill for sixpence every four years, and when we got home our Dad would slice us in two wit' bread knife.

FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
And you try and tell the young people of today that ..... they won't believe you.

ALL:
They won't!